The year 2020 has been full of surprises, most of them not too pleasant. The biggest one probably being Covid-19. Thanks to this virus, and the poor response time the U.S. had during the first few months of the virus, I’ve been very anxious. For many days during quarantine, I couldn’t do anything besides scroll through social media to block out the world. When the world started infecting social media, I resorted to watching Netflix and napping. I was desperate to do anything besides think about what might happen to me if I got Covid-19, or if my husband got it, or if my parents got it.
Because of the anxiety brought on by the virus, I stopped writing for a good two months. I felt terrible as a writer because I whenever I did open my computer and pull up Word, I could only stare at the blank screen. I couldn’t get my brain to think creatively, much less think about anything else besides the worldwide pandemic. I also felt terrible as a writer because I love to write; it helps me think and gives me space to experience lives in a fantastical world. Because I couldn’t write, I couldn’t do what I loved most and what would’ve definitely helped me get through quarantine.
Thankfully, my wonderful husband was there to help me break through the anxiety driven writer’s block. We would talk about different parts of my story whenever I did find myself thinking of them. He would ask me questions about how things in that world worked. He asked me if somethings really made sense the way I was planning it. We spent hours discussing my story, and his curiosity helped me get out of the anxiety and back into my imagination. The more we talked about my story, the more I thought about it, and the more I refined it.
If quarantine hadn’t happened, and I never stopped writing, my story would be very different compared to where it is now. Sure, I might have gotten farther in the story than where I’m at right now, but it wouldn’t be as developed. The world wouldn’t have changed and improved so much. The characters would be simple and two-dimensional, instead of the complex people I see now. Because I didn’t write for at least two months, I was able to refine my story so it will be better for future readers. Even now having gotten back into my writing, I still have bad days when I can’t imagine writing anything for my story. What I do on those bad days is ask myself questions about the characters or that world, and I write down those answers. I’ve learned how to think critically about the story I love and keep myself writing during the bad days. I’m not glad Covid-19 happened, but I’ve found my silver lining that helps me deal with the overwhelming pandemic.