For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with not liking myself. Society teaches us we must look and act a certain way or else we are not beautiful or worthy of love. I’ve grown up believing everything society taught me. I learned to be ashamed of the numbers on the scale, of the stretch marks on my body, of the shape of my face, of how quiet I am. For nearly twenty-one years I’ve hated everything about myself and wanted desperately to change who I was. I’ve had enough of this. This poem is a promise to myself that I’m going to learn to love who I am. It’s going to be a long and tough journey, but I’m determined to reach the end. I hope anyone who reads this and feels the same way about themselves can use this as the start to their own journey to learning how to love yourself.
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I’m trying
to love
You.
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I want
to love
You.
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But whispered
hate consumes
my thoughts.
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“You’re not good enough!”
“You’re not thin enough!”
“You’re not beautiful enough!”
“You’re not fun enough!”
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This hate clouds
my vision.
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It distorts
The beauty
I see
in the mirror.
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It tells me
you don’t
do enough.
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It strikes
fear in me
saying you
can’t do
anything right.
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I’m sorry
I scream
hateful words
at you.
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I’m sorry
I forgot
who you are.
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I’m sorry
I learned to
hate you
so well.
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I don’t want
to continue
this way.
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I want
to love
You,
but I
need to learn
how to love
You.
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This is
my promise
to
You
that I
will love
you again.