A Promise

For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with not liking myself. Society teaches us we must look and act a certain way or else we are not beautiful or worthy of love. I’ve grown up believing everything society taught me. I learned to be ashamed of the numbers on the scale, of the stretch marks on my body, of the shape of my face, of how quiet I am. For nearly twenty-one years I’ve hated everything about myself and wanted desperately to change who I was. I’ve had enough of this. This poem is a promise to myself that I’m going to learn to love who I am. It’s going to be a long and tough journey, but I’m determined to reach the end. I hope anyone who reads this and feels the same way about themselves can use this as the start to their own journey to learning how to love yourself.

space

I’m trying

to love

You.

space

I want

to love

You.

space

But whispered

hate consumes

my thoughts.

space

“You’re not good enough!”

“You’re not thin enough!”

“You’re not beautiful enough!”

“You’re not fun enough!”

space

This hate clouds

my vision.

space

It distorts

The beauty

I see

in the mirror.

space

It tells me

you don’t

do enough.

space

It strikes

fear in me

saying you

can’t do

anything right.

space

I’m sorry

I scream

hateful words

at you.

space

I’m sorry

I forgot

who you are.

space

I’m sorry

I learned to

hate you

so well.

space

I don’t want

to continue

this way.

space

I want

to love

You,

but I

need to learn

how to love

You.

space

This is

my promise

to

You

that I

will love

you again.

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