For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with not liking myself. Society teaches us we must look and act a certain way or else we are not beautiful or worthy of love. I’ve grown up believing everything society taught me. I learned to be ashamed of the numbers on the scale, of the stretch marks on my body, of the shape of my face, of how quiet I am. For nearly twenty-one years I’ve hated everything about myself and wanted desperately to change who I was. I’ve had enough of this. This poem is a promise to myself that I’m going to learn to love who I am. It’s going to be a long and tough journey, but I’m determined to reach the end. I hope anyone who reads this and feels the same way about themselves can use this as the start to their own journey to learning how to love yourself.
space
I’m trying
to love
You.
space
I want
to love
You.
space
But whispered
hate consumes
my thoughts.
space
“You’re not good enough!”
“You’re not thin enough!”
“You’re not beautiful enough!”
“You’re not fun enough!”
space
This hate clouds
my vision.
space
It distorts
The beauty
I see
in the mirror.
space
It tells me
you don’t
do enough.
space
It strikes
fear in me
saying you
can’t do
anything right.
space
I’m sorry
I scream
hateful words
at you.
space
I’m sorry
I forgot
who you are.
space
I’m sorry
I learned to
hate you
so well.
space
I don’t want
to continue
this way.
space
I want
to love
You,
but I
need to learn
how to love
You.
space
This is
my promise
to
You
that I
will love
you again.
Writing with Amira 